…………Lying on the left side of the gigantic family size bed was a red Isi Agu top and ruffled George wrapper. Loud indigenous Igbo music played on the background. A huge male figure stood by the wall using his phone, wrapped around his waist was a white towel that helped to reveal the protruding belly; so big you might have thought he were pregnant. As he turned to look at the damsel that lay entangled in the purple linen bed sheet still snoring……

 
Engineer Chidajomobi Ezedimgba here, and that girl you read the author man talking about is one of the numerous call girls I always happen to end up with at the end of any event I attend in any city in Nigeria. I am a successful petroleum engineer by day and at night; I’m the fat pot-bellied man eating Isi-Ewu with a glass of cold lager beer and a very beautiful light skinned girl rubbing my head. I am father of three children and I am a divorcee. My kids are all graduates and master degree holders in their various endeavors. And least I forget, they are very successful because I made them independently stand on their feet financially. This is so I don’t get disturbed by them on issues concerning money. Before you go judging me let me just remind you that I value the success of my children so much and I am very proud they can stand on their own, because it shines a ray of sunlight on me in the midst of this darkness I call: my life. However, my flaw is that I am a womanizer and at this moment I am sitting on a chair in Obiora’s office with my hand still on my face. But first, let me explain how I got here.

Truth be told, I was never like this. But when life hits you with the hardest of beats you have to dance to its rhythm or you’ll regret your very existence eventually. I was born into a thriving Igbo family in the Niger-delta hinterlands of Ndokwa. I was born a few years before the Nigerian-Biafran war and by the time the war had begun I was celebrating my 15th year on earth. Unlucky for me, I was captured by some drunken Biafran officers on my way back from the evening market on the 9th of June, 1968. Being forcefully conscripted into the Biafran militia was the worst part of my life. On several occasions I had managed to narrowly escape the cold hands of death as many times than often I sustained severe injuries from stray bullet hit, to a number of shrapnel piercings on my body. To be very honest, I am forever against the Ibos secession from Nigeria. Maybe it is due to the fact that I have struck gold so much that it has made me forget the hardship I experienced for the few years the war raged on.

Well after the war, I was being rehabilitated by the red cross officials on ground. Lucky for me one the nurses took a distinct liking to me and then decided to adopt me and that is how my good life story began. Her name was Miss Margaret Malory. She was of British-polish origin and my did she love adventure. We met at one of the make shift clinics when I was wounded and I had told her about my travail. While she took care of me, she had become very taken by me that immediately I fully recovered she offered a once in a lifetime deal of adopting me and taking me with her back to The United-Kingdom, who was I to turn it down. So we boarded the first flight out of the Old Biafran airfield in Uli and once we landed at the Airport I began a new chapter in my life. My life in the UK was by the best time in my life owing to the fact that Miss Margaret’s love for me was unending and never seasonal. I went to the best of schools, I was provided with the very essential tools to succeed like every other British kid in my time and just when I could count my blessings I went off to study Petroleum Engineering at Oxford University, Cambridge on a full scholarship from a program which wanted to integrate children adopted from the failed Biafran state in to the modern society. I was blessed. I graduate top of my class with first class honors and got a well-paying at the Shell B.P. During my time in the UK as a young university graduate who was swiftly adopted into the working class, I met a Nigerian lady who I took so much liking to and three years after we tied the knot. Sadly, with tears in my eyes, my time with Miss Margaret had come to an end, mostly as a result of the fact that I felt the need to move back my country and establish myself deeply in my roots. Notwithstanding, I vowed to maintain constant communication with her and made a deep promise to return every year for Christmas Holiday.

Life in Nigeria was even more blessed because, I had managed to fully reintegrate myself into the contemporary Nigerian society and by some unknown powers managed to ascend the social ladder rather swiftly. In a few years of my move in 1986, I had managed to start a thriving oil servicing business, a group of schools and education centers and a cosmetics line for my wife. Life couldn’t be any better. But as the saying goes “more money, more problems”. I began to be promiscuous right after my wife had given birth to our third child. At first I felt the need to be exclusive and secretive about my extra-marital affairs, but in my greed and thirst to find new ways to pleasure myself I began to pick at any fish in the sea so long as its scale glitters in the sun light and glimmers soulfully in the moonlight. Twenty years down that wrong path, I had lost my marriage, I had three successful graduates that loved me regardless of my mishaps and successful businesses that always helped put food on my table and take care of my insatiable wants. However, at a time I least expected one of my numerous stints with the opposite sex had found a way to nib me in the butt. Her name was Funmi. I had met her at a Gala event organized by my one rich Lagos connects. She had worn the most glistering silver coated dress with thin arm bands. With her slender figure she couldn’t missed in the sea of over sized over 45 years women who crowded the event. She had come with my newly acquired lawyer Obiora and had wasted no time in seeing the bottom of the glass in her hands. And as Obiora introduced her to me, I stared at her top to bottom as if to strip her of her clothing to see the ample youth for what it really was. After a few random eye contacts and a wink from her signalling to me that we were game on the same intention, I made my move towards her at a corner of the Gala hall.
‘You’re a very naughty girl, I hope you know that’, I said
“But you were the one that opened Pandora box with the way you stared at me from the get go,” she replied. ‘I did no such thing. However, you on the other hand had
made me and offer I couldn’t refuse. I would be a fool if I didn’t understand the message you were trying to send,’ I replied. “I am so glad you could read my mate call. Truth is I am taken by older men, and that is the reason I approached in that manner. I hope I didn’t strike a nerve?” she said. ‘Certainly not, my dear. If for anything I am quite taken by your bravery. And trust your guts, you would be definitely rewarded. Do you want to leave this place? I am tired of the old ladies. I need to feel on those ripe oranges on your chest. I’m a
little low on my daily supply of vitamin c,’ I replied. she laughed and nodded in agreement. With that we both sneaked out through the kitchen, through the back entrance of the hall and I
called my driver to meet us at the back.

The drive up to the Hotel  was quiet and solemn, felt as though we had just left a burial. We had gotten a room in the executive suite, and we had just settled in. She sat at the side of the bed that faced the window and quietly gazed at the sun that was slowly winding down to usher in the night. She raised her left hand to remove the right hand band of her silver dress the evening sunlight managed to find its way through the thick brown flowery patterned curtains on the room and reflected on her ebony skin, and as though she knew exactly what was happening she turned her head to the side and for the short period of the eclipse caused by the tilt, I could see her eyes for the real brown pigment they were. She is really beautiful and she was all mine for the taking. She had fully removed her dress now and was left in her all black lacy underwear. She majestically made her way towards the bathroom, just as she was about to walk into the bathroom she stopped in her tracks, turned to face me and in a low toned seductive voice she said “care to join me?”

I shook my head from side to side to turn down the offer, but my heart knew I wanted to join her and make her moan my name first before we ravished the bed. I had other thoughts in mind and I wasn’t ready to let my pot-belly spoil the build-up of things at the moment. So, before she came out of the bathroom I had quickly undressed and climbed on the bed and tried to hide my belly. I had just found a pillow to aid me in sitting up on the bed post and had placed it behind me when she slipped out of the bathroom all wet and steamy, and the little man between my legs hadn’t wasted any time to stand erect. She moved slowly towards the bed as though she were being dragged by some invisible rope, taking her time. She had seductively made her way to the side of the bed where I was, and she wasted no time to climbed right on top of me and rested her fine behind on my laps in a sitting position. Her lips slowly found its way to mine as we started kissing.

————————————————————————————————————————-

I woke up to the smell of Nicotine that had filled the room. I turned to my right to see Funmi covered with the white bed sheet, sitting by the bed side smoking a stick of Dunhill switch with her facing an open window. I turned around to the table beside the bed where I had dropped my phone, as I picked up my phone I saw the 5 missed calls from Obiora. Then I turned back to Funmi who had just asked if I was up for a morning do-over, which I quickly nodded in agreement to.